Most of the communication problems I see aren’t about vocabulary. People usually know what they want to say. What gets in the way is everything around it: the pause before a hard conversation, the worry about how it’ll land, the email rewritten five times and still not sent.
Confident communicators still get nervous. What sets them apart is that they’re clear enough for people to understand them, and caring enough that people can actually hear it. That combination is a skill, and like any skill, it gets better with practice and good teachers.
As we grow our use of and reliance on AI tools, welcome new generations into the workplace, and figure out the future of work, communicating effectively has never been more important. So I want to share some of the thought leaders in this space whose guidance and tools help us speak more authentically and consciously, both personally and professionally.
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People to Follow
Jefferson Fisher
Jefferson is a trial attorney from East Texas who started recording communication tips in his truck between hearings in 2022. He now reaches millions of people with one simple idea: argue less, talk more. What I appreciate most about his work is that it’s rooted in everyday experience, it’s built with empathy and care, and you feel like you can actually apply what he shares right away.
The idea that’s stuck: “Let your breath be the first word that you say.” Before you respond in a tense moment, take a breath. It slows you down, keeps you in control of what comes next, and tells the other person you’re not reacting. It’s simple, which is exactly why it works.
Where to find him:
The Jefferson Fisher Podcast, new episodes weekly
His book, The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More (2025)
Kim Scott
Kim is the author of Radical Candor and Radical Respect. She led AdSense, YouTube, and DoubleClick teams at Google, and later taught at Apple University. Her framework gives leaders a shared language for feedback that a lot of teams have never had.
The idea that’s stuck: Radical Candor means you “care personally and challenge directly at the same time.” Her framework also names what happens when you only do one. Caring without challenging becomes “ruinous empathy,” where you stay quiet or sugar-coat it. Challenging without caring becomes “obnoxious aggression.” Most of us know which one we slide toward under pressure.
Where to find her:
Her TEDxPortland talk, “How to lead with radical candor”
Riaz Meghji
Riaz is a former television host turned speaker and author who focuses on human connection. He’s less well known than the other two, and worth knowing.
The idea that’s stuck: his book Every Conversation Counts (2021) breaks connection into five habits:
spark authentic conversations
lead by listening
ask powerful questions
craft compelling stories
be assertively empathetic
That last one is a helpful reminder that empathy and assertiveness aren’t opposites.
Where to find him:
His weekly newsletter on human connection and storytelling
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Things to Read
Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg
A 2024 book about why some people connect so easily and how the rest of us can learn it.
The idea worth stealing: most conversations are really one of three kinds:
Practical: “What’s this really about?”
Emotional: “How do we feel?”
Social: “Who are we?”
Trouble starts when two people are having different kinds at the same time, like one person trying to solve a problem while the other needs to be heard.
Who it’s for: anyone whose conversations keep going sideways without an obvious reason.
Who can skip it: if you want a quick list of phrases, this is more story-driven than that.
Duhigg also offers free guides based on the book at charlesduhigg.com/tools, including one for conversations at work.
“Clear Is Kind. Unclear Is Unkind.” by Brené Brown
A short article from 2018, drawn from her book Dare to Lead. It takes about three minutes to read.
The idea worth stealing: vagueness often feels kind in the moment, but it isn’t. As she puts it, feeding people half-truths to make them feel better “is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable.”
Who it’s for: leaders who avoid hard feedback because they don’t want to hurt anyone.
Who can skip it: if you already lean blunt, pair it with Kim Scott’s “care personally” half before you take it as permission.
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Thing to Watch
“4 Things All Great Listeners Know” (TED-Ed, about 5 minutes)
Listening effectively is just as important as communicating effectively. This short animated lesson from TED-Ed is a reminder of what real listening looks like, with tangible strategies that are easy to apply. It’s one I still use in my own communication workshops.
Try This
Before your next conversation you’ve been putting off, write down one sentence: the thing you need the other person to understand. Then ask yourself Duhigg’s question: what kind of conversation is this, really? When it’s time to talk, let your breath go first, say your one sentence with care, and then stop and listen.
Tags: communication, difficult conversations, feedback